“When do young people become adults?”
It sounds like a simple question, but adulthood is not a switch that gets flipped at 18. It is a complex developmental journey that continues well into the twenties.
For school staff supporting young people, particularly those with SEND, this has important implications. If we understand what is happening psychologically during adolescence and early adulthood, we can provide more effective support, set realistic expectations and create opportunities that genuinely prepare young people for life beyond school.
So, what does it mean to “grow up”?
Let’s start with a simple reflection exercise. What did you want to be when you were younger? What made you feel ‘grown up’ as a child? What daily tasks and activities do you do now that feel like “adulting”?
The answers remind us that adulthood is about much more than age. It involves a gradual process of developing independence, building relationships, making decisions, understanding ourselves and finding our place in the world.
Psychologically, adolescence includes major changes in identity, emotional regulation, relationships, decision-making and moral development. Importantly, these changes continue throughout early adulthood, with ‘late adolescence’ extending from approximately 18 to 25 years.
This challenges the idea that young people should suddenly and automatically be ready for adult responsibilities as they turn 18 overnight. Many are still actively developing the skills needed to manage complex decisions, cope with uncertainty and navigate adult systems.
The search for identity
Erikson argued that one of the main jobs of adolescence is figuring out who you are. Teenagers are trying on different versions of themselves, exploring interests, testing boundaries and working out where they fit in. That is why many young people seem to change so much during these years. Beneath the surface, they are building an answer to the question, “Who am I?”
The next challenge is learning how to form meaningful relationships and feel that they belong. In practical terms, this means finding a sense of belonging through friendships, relationships, communities, workplaces and shared interests. Feeling connected, valued and understood by others is a fundamental human need and an important foundation for wellbeing. Interestingly, the recent DfE paper, ‘School belonging and attainment at key stage 4: linked data study’ found a relationship between school belonging and attainment (DfE, 2026a).
This reminds us that preparing young people for adulthood is about much more than grades, academic achievement or employment pathways. It is also about helping them develop a positive sense of identity, build supportive relationships, participate in their communities and experience genuine belonging. Schools play a crucial role in creating environments where young people feel known, accepted and included, and where they can develop the confidence and social connections that underpin a successful adult life.
What is your school/setting already doing well to support young people’s sense of identity and belonging?
The teenage brain and decision-making
As young people grow, their thinking becomes increasingly abstract and analytical. They begin to challenge assumptions, question authority and develop their own perspectives. At the same time, they can become highly self-conscious and sensitive to peer opinion.
Anyone who has once been a teenager will recognise the “imaginary audience” phenomenon: that self-conscious feeling like there is a spotlight on you and everyone is watching, judging or evaluating you.
Understanding this can transform how we interpret young people’s behaviour. What can sometimes appear as reluctance, disengagement or poor decision-making may actually reflect the normal developmental challenges of adolescence. Creating psychologically safe environments, providing opportunities for supported risk-taking, and offering encouragement rather than judgement can help young people build the confidence and resilience needed for adult life.
Why work matters
Employment is about much more than earning money. Work provides purpose, identity, belonging, confidence and social connection. Conversely, exclusion from employment can contribute to isolation, reduced independence and limited life opportunities. And yet, recent DfE data indicates that approximately 30% of young people will experience being ‘NEET’ (Not in Employment Education or Training) at some point during the ages of 16 and 21 (DfE, 2026b).
In Wandsworth we have examples of creative and flexible work experience placements, supported internships and personalised post-16 pathways. These approaches focus on identifying the support a young person needs to be successful, rather than asking whether they are capable of work.
For schools, this reinforces the importance of raising aspirations early, providing meaningful encounters with workplaces and embedding discussions about employment throughout a young person’s education.
Preparing for adulthood is everyone’s business
Preparation for adulthood should begin early and be woven throughout school life, rather than only becoming a focus during Year 11 or Year 13.
The four PfA domains of employment, health, independent living, and friends, relationships and community participation are relevant to every young person.
Schools play a crucial role in developing these areas through everyday experiences:
- Encouraging decision-making and independence.
- Building self-advocacy skills.
- Supporting friendships and belonging.
- Providing opportunities to contribute to the community.
- Raising aspirations about employment and future possibilities.
- Helping young people understand their own strengths and needs.
Final thoughts
Grades matter, but so do identity, belonging, independence, relationships and purpose. How is your setting already supporting and empowering young people to become confident, connected, self-aware and hopeful adults?
Educational Psychologists can be valuable partners in this work. Whether you are looking to develop pupil voice, strengthen independence, build inclusive approaches to careers education, support emotional development, or create a more psychologically informed transition pathway, why not start a conversation with your Ed Psych?
References
Department for Education (2026a) School belonging and attainment at key stage 4: linked data study
Department for Education (2026b) Post-16 education: pathways and outcomes for disadvantaged learners