What is self-harm?
Self-harm is a behaviour that is done to deliberately harm oneself. Self-harm is more commonly used as a way of managing difficult emotions, by helping to regulate intense feelings.
How do I talk about self-harm?
Talking about self-harm can feel hard and create difficult feelings and worries. Research tells us that talking about self-harm does not put the idea into their head. In fact, it creates a safe space for them to be open and honest about how they feel and provide them with a safe person to turn to.
To do this, you should:
- Provide a safe and confidential space/environment.
- Listen and explain the limits to confidentiality.
- Reassure the child or young person that their feelings are important and valid, and it may help to talk about them.
- Tell the young person how courageous they are to be talking about difficult thoughts and feelings.
- Stay calm and always provide an empathic and non-judgemental approach.
- Use the https://www.richmond.gov.uk/portus/files/professionals-risk-assessment.pdf to help you understand the context of the behaviour and to help you make an informed decision about next steps.
- Check in with them regularly to make sure the support offered is making a difference.
What questions could I ask?
- How are things for you right now?
- Can you say what’s bothering you?
- What might help you?
- What would you like to happen next?
How do I respond to self-harm?
If you have serious and immediate concerns regarding the safety or a child or young person due to self-harm or suicidal ideation, contact the emergency services on 999 or the Mental Health Trust 24/7 crisis line on 080 0028 800.
Refer to the Self-Harm and Suicide Prevention Pathway to help you and your colleagues to make decisions about the support required: Children and Young People’s Self-harm and Suicide Prevention Pathway.
It is important to ensure parent’s and carer’s are involved in this process unless there are safeguarding concerns relating to the young person’s family.
As young people should be attending an educational setting on a regular basis, schools and colleges are also well placed to support anyone who is facing emotional distress.
Are they at risk of suicide?
While self-harm is relatively common in young people, suicide is rare. Although some people who self-harm may experience suicidal thoughts, this is often not the case. Suicides are uncommon in childhood and early adolescence, but risk increases in the late teens and continues to rise into early adulthood.
The following steps can help you find out if a child or young person is thinking about suicide.
Ask directly.
Use the word suicide. ‘Are you thinking about suicide?’ Practice asking first if this helps. It may give you more confidence.
Stay calm.
This is important as the child or young person may be looking at how you react to decide how much they should tell you.
If you are unsure of how to start the conversation, contact the Papyrus helpline HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141. Papyrus’ specially trained advisers can talk you through what to say and how to support the child or young person during this conversation.
Talking with a child or young person about suicide can be very difficult. If you need support following your conversation, Papyrus’ advisers are on hand to de-brief with you and help you to process what has been said and where to go next.
If the child or young person says that they have had, or are currently experiencing, suicidal thoughts, you should create a personalised plan to help keep them safe: Suicide Prevention Support and Safety Plan.
Additional resources
